My baby has arrived! In my last post I went on about how miserable I was due to joint and nerve pain. I had hoped I would have my baby on my original due date (Oct 28) rather than the one they gave me after the ultrasound (Nov 14) as I just could not take any more pain…and three to five weeks more seemed like an eternity. Well, it turned out that my little guy was born on that exact date (Oct 28!). What had happened was that I had an appointment with my OB at which I reported my extreme pain to him and he sent me to the hospital. There they must have felt sorry for me…and noticed the regular medicines were not helping me…and agreed to induce me as distress for a mom to be is not good.
Two days later I was back and the induction started. It seemed to be working slowly. However, I had a reaction to the drugs and suddenly was in more pain than ever! It was horrible and I thought I was going to die. The doctors said there was not much else to do other than have an emergency c section. This is rare but they recognized I was suffering and in distress and that no other medicines would be safe for the baby. So, on October 28th, in the evening I suddenly found myself in the operating room. I was terrified…especially since I did not realize one is actually conscious during the procedure. It seemed to all be happening so fast BUT I knew it was the right thing for me as I could not take any more pain and could not wait another several weeks in pain.
Soon I was in the operating table and frozen from the chest down though I could still feel pulling and movement. The doctors and nurses were great and in a short while I heard the doctor say the baby had a big head. A moment later there was a cry. My husband and I were overwhelmed as suddenly he was put on my chest before me. I stared at him in shock a few minutes. Who was this?! How strange to see this human that had been inside me! They took him away and did some measuring. 8lbs and 3 ounces they said! My husband left with them and the rest of the surgery went on. Soon I was rolled out to the recovery room and got to stare at my naked baby for much longer. He was so cute and we had skin to skin time as a nurse began to teach me and him how to latch on for breastfeeding. My husband and I were in love.
For the next two days we stayed in the hospital with our little one. At first I felt amazing physically as the drugs were still in effect (c section is awesome I have decided) but by morning they had worn off and I was horrified to still have my leg pain. Pains from the c section were there but just a minor irritant compared to this leg and hip pain. Because of it my husband had to step up and do EVERYTHING for the first few days. He did all the feeding (my breast milk came in at 4 days so bottle of formula it was), diaper changing, swaddling, cuddling, bathing, and learning from the hospital staff. I assured the nurses I would learn from him later. They were a bit doubtful at first but saw how great he was and said he was a super dad. We were discharged a bit early and went home.
Since then life has been taking place in 3 hour blocks of feeding, changing, pumping, and sleeping. The first few days were exhausting but I learned to sleep when the little one does and be prepared ahead of time for the night feedings which are the worst. My husband went back to work after two weeks and, despite a serious limp and leg/hip/back/knee pain, I am handling our little guy on my own when he is at work. It was hard at first due to the pain and I felt very sad and guilty I could not take care of him as I wanted BUT I know I will soon be fine and all will be well again…plus I am meeting all his needs despite it not being the way I would like so no need to be so hard on myself.
I can definitely attest to the fact that a new mother feels a SURGE of emotions and the mother instinct does kick in. For me I feel an intense possessiveness, protectiveness, and love. I have to force myself to let others hold him and visit with us as I just wanted him and my husband all to myself and for us to never leave the house or let anyone in!!! Ha ha ha. Luckily, I have gotten over that a bit but those feelings were very strong at first and my family was not impressed as they felt I did not trust them.
I just wanted to quickly write this blog post as an update but there are a thousand more things I can say and write about in detail from food to baths to breastfeeding to changes in our marriage etc. Will try to keep on top of it!