My poor doggy…

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My poor doggy has osteo-sarcoma. It is a horrible bone cancer that usually develops on limbs that are often amputated as the only way to rid of it. For my poor baby, however, it appeared on her spine which is not operate-able in her case. I last wrote about this nightmare on February 12th, 2016. At that time she just started getting medicine on a regular basis. I saw the vet the next day and she suggested we would have 1-3 months left and she provided an additional medicine to support pain management when needed.

My dog seemed to still be doing quite well with an interest in her usual things although the nasty bump on her spine had been growing. A few weeks went by and I was thankful for those weeks. Last week, however, I noticed her slowing down a bit so started using the new pain medicine with her regular meds. Things went on okay but this weekend I noticed a bit of a further downturn.

doggylove1She is still interested in food, in walks, in people, in investigating strange sounds, but seems a bit lazier and less responsive-less interested in getting up once she settles down for a period of time unless there is an especially good motivator. I am watching her carefully. Keeping track of good days and bad days-hoping I am interpreting everything correctly. Hoping I am not over or under reacting. I want to do right by her-give her the most time possible but also do not want her to suffer in silent pain.

I fear there will be rapid downturn and we will have to put her to sleep in a rush. I know this day is coming eventually and, compared to when we first learned about her cancer, I am much more ready to deal with it but it just still seems too soon, too unfair, too heartbreaking. I cried this weekend when reading a novel called Salvage the Bones in which one of the characters has a special love for his dog.

This week I will carefully watch my sweet pup and see if I need to consult with the vet again for more medication, other pain management tips, more tips about symptoms of stress or pain, or even just a check in for a second opinion on assessing my baby’s mood and pain level. It is difficult to be so helpless and passive and unable to make this go away for her, to heal her, to solve this for her. 😦 Despite everything, I am also trying to stay positive and enjoy my time with my baby. I just wish for warm and wonderful weather this week so she can enjoy laying out in the sun (one of her favourite things). Will keep my fingers crossed.

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