My best pal is sick…

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dogs-are-girls-best-friend-21660219My best pal-my doggy love-is sick. In the past, she has had a few fatty lumps and bumps that our regular vet said were not an issue unless they started growing-they did not. Then, earlier this month she got a big strange lump on her back overnight. This one was different. It started growing and felt harder. We took her into the local animal hospital-a step up from our vet-and the vet thought that it is probably a ruptured disc but took some samples.

The result came back as a cancer-sarcoma. Because it is right on her back and feels quite deep, there was quite a bit of concern. We then took her to the regional animal hospital where we would have been referred. X-rays revealed there are no tumors in the lungs. If there were, it would have been all about palliative care and making my pup comfortable as long as possible. A CT was needed next to determine the next step.

Today I got the results and it is not good. Because of the location of the cancer, the size, the type etc the surgeon has made it clear that we can do a surgery but he will not be able to remove it all which means it will come back. We can do chemo and radiation after a surgery to try to deal with it as well but with everything we do we will probably only extend her life a month or two (and they will not be good months). Also, all the treatments are risky for various reasons and he said he would hate to do a surgery for her to just pass after a few weeks when she is still in recovery. He recommended doing light treatment to manage the pain until it is too much. He told me to think of the quality of her life rather than just being desperate to hold on to her as long as possible and take a few days to think about it all.

I had to call my husband right away. I had to go home to tell my family. Everyone was upset. We all love this pup so much and we are all so shocked by how fast this is all happening. But we all knew that we are not going to make our poor baby endure surgery and medicines and radiation that basically will not help. We have decided to take the doctor’s advice and give her some really happy great months and do our best to manage her pain until it is too much.

My heart hurts. My pup has been with me through the hardest times in my life. Her unconditional love has been the only light in my life at times. She has never disappointed me, never let me down, never brought anything but joy to my life. I cannot guess how I will cope with the next few months and cannot imagine how it will be without her. She is so vital and alive, so beautiful, so healthy…this sucks, this is so unfair, am so angry, and am so sad. 1-3 months is the range the vet gave us. Just shocking. Just devastating. For now, I can only take it one day at a time.

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