When do people know they are baby ready? My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and I definitely did not want to start a family any time soon. Last weekend was Mother’s Day and all of us siblings took my mother out for a nice ocean side dinner at a cute place where the food was yummy. My mother reminisced about how much that area has changed since the 1970s when she used to frequent the area. We are not often interested in mom before she became mom but I have, over several long conversations, gathered the gist of her experiences through her years. She, when upset with us, wonders why she had so many ungrateful kids (we are 5 siblings!) but, at other times, cannot imagine life without any of us. Her first child she had right after marriage, as was the norm then, and the rest of us she spaced out 9 years after the first for whatever reasons. We all have very different relationships with her but all are generally good and our lives are richer due to her and each other. Family really is everything I am realizing as I age. Living with my parents now, as an adult, I can say is a lucky thing that I am grateful for. Even though my dad drives me crazy (he is the most difficult person in the world) and my mom has an endless list of errands for me, I am lucky to have this time with them.
Although I have not been eager in the past to start a family, I can say that my attitude has been changing over the last year or so. Not due to the babies my friends have been having or the sweet kids of my sister but from a deep internal place that makes me want to move into the next stage of my life-one that will change perspective on everything. No doubt growth and expansion are part of this. I will be 33 next month and based on all kinds of circumstances, think that after another year or so, my husband and I will be ready to start a family. Being at home and having the help of my mother-and sisters near by-will be so important. In both my and my husband’s collectivist cultures, the “village” really does raise a child and we want this for our own child as well. But, how to do so in North America? Well, the extended family becomes that village, I suppose.
Not sure how I got here-even since I started this blog-but I can say…we, or at least me anyways as I cannot speak for my husband, are just about baby ready. Am a bit astounded!